Monday, November 29, 2010

Because Sometimes You Just Have to Laugh.

Hahaha, ok I just think these are funny. Yes I laughed outloud as I read some of these.

Fun Things To Do In A Lift

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,peer Inside and ask "Got enough air inthere?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in thecorner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, gruntand strain to yank the doors open, thenact as if you're embarrassed when theyopen themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshakeand ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for awhile. Then announce in horror: "You'reone of THEM" - and back away slowly7
) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" Andpush all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyonepresses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passengerfor a while, then announce: "I have newsocks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, lookaround and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on theemergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floorwith chalk and announce to the otherpassengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other personin the elevator, tap them on theshoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend theygive you a shock. Smile, and go back formore.
16) ASK if you can push the button forother people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you'rewaiting for your friend. After a while,let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someonereaches to help pick it up, then scream:"That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures ofeveryone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendantand review emergency procedures andexits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it

19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

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