Remember

I once heard that remember is the most important word.  There is a scene from the movie "The Lion King."  Simba is trying to decide what he should do, whether he should go back to his home or not, and this scene takes place:


Rafiki: [after guiding Simba to a spot where he says will show him Mufasa] Look down there.
Simba: [looks into a pool of water] That's not my father. That's just my reflection. 
Rafiki: No, look harder.
[touches the water, as it ripples Simba's reflection changes to that of his father]
Rafiki: You see? He lives in you.
Mufasa's Ghost: [from above] Simba. 
Simba: Father?
Mufasa's Ghost: [apears among the stars] Simba, you have forgotten me.
Simba: No. How could I?
Mufasa's Ghost: You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life.
Simba: How can I go back? I'm not who I used to be.
Mufasa's Ghost: Remember who you are. You are my son, and the one true king. Remember...


It is so easy to forget why we are here.  It's easy to forget past feelings and promptings, and we get so caught up in the here and now that we forget.  I love those days when I remember. 

When I remember that I am a daughter of God, and that I have a purpose. 
When I remember that no matter what I've done, I'm loved and I'm wanted. 
When I remember why I am here and what really matters in life.

Somedays you just need those little reminders, and today was a reminder for me.  I hope, that if I do forget again, I remember soon.

All You Need Is Love

I finished "A Wrinkle In Time" today while I was getting my oil changed.  I forgot how good of a book that is.  For those of you haven't read it, the premise of the book is Meg, her brother Charles Wallace (somebody please name their kid that and always call him by his full name) and their friend, Calvin go to Camazotz to save Meg's father.  He is being held there by IT (yes, IT) which is this big evil thing that controls this planet and takes away everybody's ability to make decisions. 

The ending of this book really got me thinking.  (Be warned, I'm about to get deep on you guys).  Meg is going back to Camazotz to save Charles Wallace, and Mrs. Which tells her that she has something that IT does not, and this thing that she has will help her save her brother.  She goes there and she tries to use her hate for IT as her power source to be strong enough to withstand, but IT feeds off the hate.  Then she remembers that before she had left to come back to Camazotz, Mrs. Which had told her that she loved her.  Meg remembers love and uses love to totally kick IT in the face (figuratively of course) and save her brother.

Earlier in the book, Meg was talking to a creature she called Aunt Beast who lived on a different planet.  She was trying to explain light, but Aunt Beast wasn't understanding it because they didn't have light on their planet the way Meg did on Earth.  Aunt Beast asked what it was used for and Meg said that they used it to see.  Then Aunt Beast said "We look not at the things which are what you would call seen, but at the things which are not seen.  For the things which are seen are temporal.  But the things which are not seen are eternal." (Deep for a children's book, right?)

How does this tie together?  Well, I'm not sure, but it got me thinking about love and hate and all those unseen forces that drive our world.  I think as humans we tend to look at things in terms of what is tangible, what can be seen right in front of us.  And if we do branch out into the unseen forces, it's usually hate or discrimination that we use, because it's easier to hate something we don't understand than to love it.  We always fight with hate and intolerance, but what if we fought with love?  Love is just as tangible as a gun, and it has more power than even the most hateful feeling.

Awhile ago, Patch Adams came to my college, and in his speech he asked why we don't teach love in school.  We spend so much time teaching students reading, math, and history, but we don't take any time to teach love.  How do you teach love?  It's not tangible like math.  You can't see it.  I can't check the back of the book to make sure the answer is right.  But does that make it less important?

I think The Beatles had it right when they said, "All you need is love."



New Current Read:  The Lightning Theif by Rick Riordan

Plan to be surprised . . .

Do you ever have those days, or those situations in your life where nothing works out?  You plan something, it doesn't go through.  You want something, it doesn't happen. I wonder why I work so hard to make something happen, or make something fit into place, to see it all fall apart.  Recently I've had one of those things happen where I just want to lay in my bed and cry my eyes out.  I'm not trying to be all depressing, or all "whoa whoa is me" but it just got me thinking about my plans, and what's worked and what hasn't.

I really believe that things have a way of working out.  If something is meant to happen, it will.  That doesn't mean I can sit idly by and do nothing, but things have a way of falling into place.  Anything in my life that I've tried to force has fallen apart.  Whether it be what I should do with my life, relationships, changing my major, whatever.  You can't fit a square peg in a round hole.  I've found that things that I'm supposed to do have worked out.

Have you seen the movie "Dan in Real Life"?  If not, you should because it's great.  But I love this quote from the movie:

“I want to talk to you about the subject of plans…

life plans and how we all make them,
how we hope that our kids make good, smart, safe plans of their own.

But if we’re really honest with ourselves, most of our plans don’t work out as we’d hoped.

So instead of asking our young people, ‘What are your plans?

What do you plan to do with your life?’,

maybe we should tell them this:

Plan… to be surprised.”

"be happy, for this moment, this moment is your life."

So I was reading something somewhere, I don't remember where, and it was talking about how she had gone to Greece and she was living solely in the present at that moment.  Not worrying about yesterday, or tomorrow.  Just living.  Being in the moment.  I loved that.  It really got me thinking because how many times do I forget to live because i'm fretting about the past or worrying about the future.  Honestly, what can I really do about either of those things right now?  Yes, I can prepare, and yes, that's important, but what good is preparation if I forget to live right now?  I need to learn to savor the moment.  To be happy with exactly what I have, when I have it. 

So you know those things that you always tell yourself that some day, when you're settled, or when you're graduated, or when you're this, or that, you'll do.  I'm gonna do them. 

So here's to living in the moment.

Speaking Words of Wisdom . . .

Do you ever wonder . . .

(Courtesy weheartit.com)



Periodically I will contemplate my life.  Just stop and think about where I am, what I'm doing, if I'm really happy, what I could do better, stuff like that.  Last night was one of those nights.  I was driving home from work, thinking about my life.  I won't go into the boring details of all I thought but I did think of something that I've been thinking about lately that's kinda an interesting thought.

One day I was at work, and one of the supervisors was introducing us to people that also worked there that I had never met because normally I work at night, and most normal people work in the day.  So anyways, he said, "Have you ever wondered if you were to meet yourself, if you would like yourself?" and then introduced us to the person who was like him. He, fortunately, liked her. 

But it got me thinking.  If I were to meet me, would I like me?

It reminds me of a story from when I was little.  It was when I still lived in AZ, so I was young, maybe 3 or 4 and we had gone to Chuckie Cheese, or someplace like that.  I was trying out my skills at the skee ball machine, and I had just finished when I looked over to the side and I see a girl.  She's my age, brown hair and brown eyes, just like me, and she was looking at me too.  I smiled and she smiled.  I was thinking I had made a new friend.  She waived and I waived at the same time. I was thinking, "Holy cow! We should be friends because we think exactly alike."  I wanted to go say hi so I started walking towards her and she started walking towards me.  We were getting closer and closer until . . .

I ran into a mirror.

After that I remember my mom coming over and I was rubbing my head (because it hurts when you walk into a mirror) and apparently she had seen the whole thing because she was laughing hysterically, but trying to ask me if I was ok and what I was doing.  I had just wanted to be friends with the girl who I met playing skee ball.

Where Are You Christmas?

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons.
It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags.
And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.
What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

Something is missing.
For some reason this year it just doesn't seem like Christmas.

The tree is decorated.
The lights are up.
I've done my shopping.

But the feeling isn't here. The excited anticipation of Christmas you got when you were 9 and couldn't sleep the night before because you were so excited. It's like the magic is gone.

But I think I know what the problem is.

Me

I've been so caught up with me, in my life, and what I'm going to do that I've forgotten what really brings the feeling of Christmas.

I remember when I was in 8th grade.  My dad had been diagnosed with cancer that November and that year just sucked.  I mean 8th grade is hard enough as it is, trying to figure out who you are and where you fit in, and it just felt like a lot to handle.  But I remember that Christmas being the best Christmas.  My dad was going through chemotherapy and trying to work to provide for his family.  He was doing the best he could.

I remember one night my parents were gone and I was babysitting.  Someone knocked on the door and when I answered it, there was a lady and her two sons standing there with baskets full of stockings and food and gifts.  To this day I have no idea who she was.  So many people did so much for my family.  The school did the Sub for Santa for my family.  I remember my little siblings donating food to the Sub for Santa having no idea that it was to be returned to us.

I've always wanted to do something like that.  Do something for someone else that just makes them happy.  That gives them the feeling I had that Christmas.  I'm always too selfish and lazy, but I've decided that that needs to change.

So I don't know what yet.  But I'm gonna do something.  Christmas is about giving.  Heavenly Father gave his Son.  I can give my time and money.

 

 

Someday We'll Know.

"When we were five they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up, our answers were things like, astronaut, president or in my case a princess. 

When we were ten they asked us again we answered, rockstar, cowboy or in my case a gold medalist. But now that we've grown up they want a serious answer.

Well, how about this, who the hell knows! 

This isn't the time to make hard, fast decisions. This is the time to make mistakes, take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere, fall in love...alot. Major in philosophy, because there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind and change it again, because nothing's permanent. 

So make as many mistakes as you can, that way someday when they ask what we wanna be we won't have to guess, we'll know."

(I'm embarassed to say, but this is Angela's graduation speech from Eclipse.
Don't judge.)

I really like this. For multiple reasons.  I just can't even begin to tell all the experiences in my life that make this quote ring true for me.  

Do you know how many times I've changed my major?

7. At least.

How many times I said I was going to go on a mission?

3 or 4. Maybe more.

I was engaged. That didn't happen.

I felt like I was a mess who didn't know what I wanted with life.  I always thought I should know.  That I would be able to easily figure out what I wanted or should do.  I never could and I felt lost at times.

But I can say that answers do come.  Slowly, but surely.  I tried all the things I didn't want to do (school wise) and now I know teaching is what I want to do more than anything.  I know that I am exactly where I need to be right now.  

I always thought making mistakes was bad, but now I realize that mistakes were what got me here.

"It's not about who you've been with. 

It's about who you end up with. 

Sometimes the heart doesn't know what it wants 
until it finds what it wants."

Pam Beesley

Time and Doughnuts

Can you believe it's November already? I can't. I remember when I was little, time would take forever. I remember being in our big blue van and timing how long it took to get places. I would judge it by the length of a song, and I would say that each song was 10 minutes. I seriously thought a song took 10 minutes. The older I get the faster time flies by. When you're 6 you can't wait to be 20 and when you're 20 you wish you could be 6 again. I guess I should just be happy where I am, and enjoy it because I only get to be 23 on November 2, 2010 one time and then it's gone.

And, I do consider it a sign if you go into the convenience store on campus that gets one delivery of doughnuts the whole day, and they just happen to have your favorite doughnut you've been craving left. AHHHHHHHH! (that's angels singing as I look at the doughnut) How could I pass up this yummy deliciousness?

Little Reminders

So, cool story.

Today I'm at the library and I'm trying to connect to the internet, but when I go to pull up the connections it says no connections are available. I go through all of the troubleshooting I can think of, I check everything on my computer, and nothing is getting it to work. I ask this guy who is sitting next to me if he's having any problems connecting and he said he was getting on just fine. He came over and helped me for a few minutes, restarted the computer, tried to get it connected again. Nothing. He left and I try a few more things. Still nothing. At this point, I'm getting a little frustrated because I really need the internet. Yes, I could pack up my stuff and walk downstairs and use the computer there, but a) I really didn't want to, and b) if it's not finding any connections that means it's probably something wrong with my computer or wireless card or something like that.

So, not knowing what else to do, I shut down my computer and said a prayer.

I waited a few minutes, and turned my computer back on. And guess what.

IT WORKED!!!

Just like that, it was up and working again, as if nothing had happened.

Now, I know that having the internet work on your computer is not a big deal. And that worse things could happen. But it's the simple tender mercies like this that just make me stop and think for a second. God does hear our prayers. He answers our prayers. He answers my prayers. Samantha Polly's prayers. Even simple, seemingly meaningless prayers to get the internet connection working on my laptop. It just makes me realize even more that he is aware of me and knows who I am, and I am so grateful for this realization. This was the reminder I needed.

Random Thoughts of the Day

I'm trying to go to sleep but it isn't coming. Which sucks because I'm really tired.

So, I'm blogging, watching The Big Bang Theory, and resisting the urge to find something to eat because I'm hungry.

I was listening to this song today, and was just thinking how great of a song it is. It's Hands by Jewel. Great Song:


If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's hands

I've Realized . . .

My birthday is this month. I'm gonna be 23 years old. Holy Old! I've been on this earth 23 years and this is what I've learned and/or realized from my time here so far:

. . . the best smell in the world is clean clothes.

. . . the people who really love you will tell you how it is, no matter if it hurts.

. . . no matter how hard life gets, I am not alone.

. . . as much as I hate this phrase, B.T.I really works.

. . . the only time I regret things is when I don't act.

. . . laughing with friends for absolutely no reason is the best ab workout ever!

. . . reading is the best form of entertainment.

. . . lessons learned do not come easy.

. . . no matter how much you pray for something, if you get a no it's because Heavenly Father knows what's best, even if it's what you think you want.

. . . when I have no one to turn to my family is always there.

. . . the best kisses are the ones that really mean something from someone you really love.

. . . the more I learn the more I don't know.

. . . it's the bigger person who says sorry first, even if it wasn't your fault.

. . . Weezer is one of the best freakin bands ever!

. . . I need to be a better friend, sister, and daugher.

. . . Taylor Swift pretty much has a song for just about everything.

. . . the times when I've been the most myself is when I've been living the gospel.

. . . my sisters are my best friends.

. . . first impressions are usually wrong.

. . . a good pair of jeans are the key to a cute outfit.

. . . that once you get to know someone you usually end up liking them.

. . . sometimes you have to fight for what you want.